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11.6.14

Panergírico a las meretrices tailandesas

 
Ir de putas es una arte ancestral que el español ha dominado con maestría desde tiempos inmemoriales. Unos, reconocemos su práctica abiertamente, otros ocultan esa afición tan arraigada en la tradición hispana.
Para consagrarse en informática hay que pasar por Silicon Valley (el valle del silicio, no me seáis paletos como algunos ilustres periodistas de lo oculto, que los he oído llamarlo valle de la silicona), para doctorarse en "Puterología" hay que pasar por Bangkok.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450" caption="El señor Chuwit, famoso diputado, propietario de los más grandes prostíbulos"]Chuwit en Yakuzzi[/caption]

El nivel que puede tener un país, en relación a esta disciplina, no se mide por el número de aficionados ni el de federadas, sino en la calidad y variedad de la oferta. De nada me sirve que media Cuba (por ejemplo) se dedique al solaz y esparcimiento de turistas y locales si la oferta se limita a conocer federadas que practican por libre sin disponer de las instalaciones adecuadas. No se puede hacer un Mundial de fútbol sin los estadios correspondientes, pues en Tailandia tenemos los estadios pertinentes par la práctica de tan noble arte.
En Bangkok existen varios tipos de prostitución enfocados a un público de lo más variopinto. En este artículo vamos a intentar diseccionar una pequeña, ínfima parte, de la oferta que se puede encontrar en Bangkok. Nos centraremos en los llamados "ab ob nuad" (อาบอบนวด) en tailandés, los famosos locales donde las mujeres se sientan en unas gradas y/o detrás de una vitrina y allí tratan de llamar nuestra atención con miradas insinuantes. Una vez hecha la elección, se pasa por taquilla y se inicia la subida hacia el cielo, que suele estar entre el piso 3 y 6.

 

Pero hagamos antes un poco de historia. Mi primer contacto con este mundo fue en un local mítico, hoy desaparecido bajo las palas excavadoras, el Chawala, a finales de los 80. Era todo un clásico. NO había extranjeros por aquella época. Me acompañaban mis amigos tailandeses, unos habituales del local. Era, desde el prisma de un joven apenas entrado en la veintena, un tanto peculiar. Las mozuelas estaban sentadas en unos graderíos y se las podía observar por unos ventanucos de reducidas dimensiones, no el clásico escaparate. Una vez contratado el servicio, éste se limitaba a un baño y una paja, cualquier otro tipo de contacto sexual no estaba contemplado ni permitido. El lugar se caracterizaba por su estructura, unos compartimentos separados por paneles de contrachapado que permitían oír y tener cierto contacto con tus vecinos, algo útil si eran colegas tuyos, pero algo incómodo si eran desconocidos. Sabías que tu amigo estaba en plena “concentración” si lo llamabas y no respondía. Cada cubículo contaba con una bañera y una camilla para masajes. La chica no se bañaba contigo, te trataba como a un hijo pequeño durante la hora del baño, si bien se centraba con cierta dedicación en algunas partes que una madre apaña en dos segundos. Qué tiempos …

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450" caption="Escaparate modesto de un centro de masaje sensual de tipo medio"]Escaparate ab ob nuad[/caption]

 

Alaina: nombre de origen griego que significa “preciosa”, “resplandeciente”, pero en Bangkok significa: “el lupanar que hay en la calle Ratchada soi 12”.
generosa en sus formas. Representante de Margaret Astor para el sudeste asiático.
Desde que me trasladé a vivir a mi nueva residencia del soi 10 de Ratchada (ya no vivo allí, no hace falta que mis enemigos hagan guardia), me llamó la atención un edificio de nueva construcción que se encontraba justo en frente. Estaba a estrenar, pero nadie lo estrenaba. No parecía un edificio de viviendas ni uno de negocios, tampoco tenía aspecto de hotel a la tradicional usanza. No tardaron en explicarme que era un puticlub que no había podido abrir sus puertas por encontrarse justo en frente de un colegio, algo cuestionable porque a pocos metros no había uno sino varios establecimientos de las mismas características. Obviamente, era una cuestión política, y por ello no tenía permiso de apertura. No había sido tomado por Okupas, porque eso no se estila en estos países donde se utilizan medios más expeditivos con los delincuentes e infractores.
Como el artista que sientes mariposa antes de subirse al escenario, así me sentía al franquear la puerta de un local que sólo conocía por haber acompañado a Herr Torbe en la visita que me hizo el año pasado a Bangkok. Hoy iba de consumidor con afán de consumar.

 

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450" caption="Herr Torbe en el lupanar Alaina"]Herr Torbe en el lupanar Alaina[/caption]


En estos palacios del amor, siempre hay un encargado de la puerta que te da la bienvenida al franquear umbral principal. A continuación, están los que responsables de venderte el producto que suelen ser media docena y que se reparten el trabajo por turnos. En primer lugar me atiende una señora, entrada ya en años, que me presenta el escaparate. Aquí no hay cristal que separe a los clientes potenciales de las meretrices. Charlamos un poco, como es habitual, sobre lo divino y lo humano, hasta que llega el momento de hablar de tarifas. 2500 bahts me dice. “Uy, eso es precio de turista occidental”, le digo, sin saber si realmente así es. “No, no. Aquí todo el mundo paga igual”, me responde, cosa que me hace sospechar. Mientras le enseño mi identificación, le digo que trabajo en la policía (de algo me tiene que servir). “No llevo gafas, no veo nada”, me replica con cierto tono de incredulidad, cosa que no le recrimino porque farangs que trabajen en la policía tailandesa (no en la Tourist Police, que ahí abundan) hay muy pocos. “Pues nada. Me voy a cenar y si eso, pues ya vuelvo, pero me parece caro”, le doy como respuesta a su negativa a hacerme una rebaja de cortesía. Me voy a cenar a un Big C (centro comercial, ex Carrefour), hago un par de compras, y retorno al lupanar.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450" caption="El Amsterdam, un clásico en pleno centro de Bangkok. Les falta simpatía."]Masterdam massage parlour[/caption]

El proceso se repite, pero en esta ocasión me topo con una chica joven algo más abierta y jovial. Retomo el tema de las tarifas y de repente todo ha bajado 500 bahts. esto ya me cuadra más. Le pido consejo sobre alguna de las mozuelas ahí expuestas de motu propio. “Esa, esa. Que tiene buenas tetas”, me dice. La verdad es que no me parece para tanto, pero al fin y al cabo, estoy para pasar el rato, ni la voy voy a sacar de paseo, ni mucho menos me voy a casar con ella. “Pues venga, me la llevo. No hace falta que me la envuelvas para regalo, es para consumo propio”, le digo en tono jocoso. “Que sepas que pagas precio de thai” me aclara mientras nos dirigimos a la caja, ocasión que aprovecho para mostrarle mi identificación. “Trabajando en esta empresa, qué menos”, le espeto, quedándose ella algo perpleja. Tras el abono correspondiente, enfilamos el pasillo que nos conduce al ascensor. La emoción me embarga, en breve podré empezar a repartir Activia de mango a tutiplén.

 

Mientras me pongo cómodo, ella va preparando el baño envuelta en una toalla. Charlamos de todo un poco. De pequeño me encantaban las aventuras del Zorro, pasados los años, me entretienen más las de la zorra. Pregunto sobre le resto de la clientela. Como ya suponía, más del 90% son orientales, cosa que les cuesta entender a los “expertos” en Tailandia que se creen que si los occidentales dejásemos de ir de putas, el PIB del país se iba a resentir. Estos expertos, por regla general, no salen de Patong Beach, Pattaya o el primer tramo de Sukhumvit.
Con la mano me hace una señal para que me acerque. El baño está listo con la espuma rebosante. La muchacha es simpática, vamos a ver si sus habilidades están a la altura. Me recorre todo el cuerpo con sus manos y una esponja, pero se deja el postre para el final. Un leve masaje para ir tomando medidas me va entonando, pero no quiero perder fuerzas con un disparo tonto. Salgo de la bañera y me dirijo a la cama mientras ellas recoge todos sus efectos del baño. No tarda mucho en acostarse a mi lado.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450" caption="Espacio de relax en un Palacio del Amor"]Espacio de relax Rumbo Tailandia[/caption]

La moza se pone manos a la obra. Pero mi sistema operativo me indica que hay que hacer un “download” urgentemente, seguro que llega un “update” de seguridad que hay que descargar a la mayor celeridad. Le indico que puede soltar el joystick que hay que cambiar de puerto usb. No estoy allí para satisfacer a nadie, por eso he pasado por caja, por lo que voy dando empujones hasta derramar mi ser. No ha fingido demasiado, cosa que agradezco. Es horrible estar con una furcia que finge descaradamente, me hace perder la concentración porque soy consciente de la mentira.
La muchacha sabe. Tras la eyaculación, sabe que lo mejor es un relajante masaje. Se pone en ello y casi me duermo. No espero a que suene el teléfono que avisa del tiempo pasado. Nos vestimos y nos vamos. Saludo a todo el equipo de limpiadoras de la planta y nos metemos en el ascensor. A la salida se despiden amablemente las Mamasan del lugar confiando en que vuelva pronto, si bien mi plan es otro; tengo ganas de explorar y el barrio ofrece innumerables locales. Será cuestión de visitar otro de los más conocidos de la capital tailandesa.

 

Emmanuelle: sugerente nombre donde los haya. Se ríe en poco por el uniforme al pensar que es una excentricidad de un farang loco, pero al hablar ya ven que no, al margen de que no sonrío mucho. A pesar de ello, hay alguno tan bobo que insiste en tratarme como a un farang corriente. Sus compañeros, más avezados en su labor me cobran lo que a un thai.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450" caption="Sin reparos, anuncian la diferencia de tarifas según la raza del cliente."]Tarifas eEammanuelle[/caption]

Pam, 22 años, como el número que la identifica. Dice que es de Chiang Mai, no sé si es cierto o lo dice porque queda mejor ser de Chiang Mai que de cualquier provincia de Isarn. Le pregunto varias veces por un tatuaje no identificado que llega en la espalda a la altura del hombro, se justifica aludiendo a una noche de borrachera, y menuda noche debió de ser porque por los motivos que lleva, no se hace en dos ni entres horas. Es consciente, al trabajar en un club frecuentado mayoritariamente por clientela asiática que eso de los tatuajes está muy mal visto, en especial en Japón. Hablamos de lo clásico, tamaños de penes por razas, las primeras veces, etc. “¿Cuándo te tocaste la primera vez?”, inquiero.“Quieres decir que cuando me hice una paja por primera vez?”, “Es que eso es maleducado decirlo”, me responde con cierta vergüenza. Vale, pero comerlas a pares es muy fino … ya le vale a la chica. Bajo con la mano por el fondo sur haciéndole cosquillas. “¿Tienes cosquillas ahí?” , le digo riéndome. “No y además no me gusta que me toquen ahí”, me quedo un poco parado porque estoy, si no me equivoco, en un prostíbulo. Para mis adentros pienso: “Pues mala profesión has ido a elegir, hija mía”. Me quedo un poco cortado y seguimos con el baño, en espera de que llegue la parte “hardcore” de la sesión del día.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450" caption="La esplendorosa Pam del Emmanuelle"]Pam[/caption]

 

Una vez ya instalados sobre la cama, empieza la fellatio preliminar. De algún modo me causa cierto reparo porque la chica lleva aparatos en los dientes, y sin quererlo me vienen a la memoria leyendas urbanas que prefiero no rememorar. En vista de que la cosa no progresa adecuadamente, opto por iniciar un intercambio de fluidos con cierta premura. Y digo premura porque el calentamiento habría tenido que ser más prolongado. Ya sabemos lo que pasa cuando uno sale al campo sin haber calentado lo suficiente. Pues eso. Entre pitos y flautas, nunca mejor dicho, la batería enciende el pilotito rojo. Mal asunto. La muchacha no se esmera en demasía y yo llego al límite de mis fuerzas. Me quedo ahí, en ese punto en el que habría bastado el roce de una pluma de colibrí para desparramar todo mi ser. No queda tiempo ya para otro “round”.

[caption id="" align="aligncenter" width="450" caption="Emmanuellle, el Templo del Amor."]El templo del amor[/caption]

Tiro la toalla. En el fondo, me lo he pasado bien. Aunque ha sido como una sesión de pilates de la que sales con dolor en los testículos de Jehová. Suena el teléfono. Llaman desde recepción para avisar que el tiempo está a punto de expirar. Cuando nos despedimos en el ascensor, se despide con cara de penilla y casi soy yo el que la tiene que consolar, “estas cosas pasan a veces”. Ella se va por su lado y yo por el mío.

 



Abandono estos peculiares antros de perdición con la satisfacción de que, curiosamente, la justificación que emplean con el extranjero para sacarle el dinero (pobreza extrema de la familia, desgracias diversas, etc) no la han empleado conmigo al igual que sucede con los tailandeses, dado que saben que la que se mete a sorber con fruición el fruto del amor, lo hace por pura vagancia o una legítima voluntad de rápido enriquecimiento.
 

171 comentarios:

Fulanito dijo...

Enoorme! Te has vuelto a superar!

herr-mongo dijo...

Nunca has ido a algún antro de gays a que te folle el culo algún maricón thai?

Se estila ese tipo de prostitución allí?

HerrPeter dijo...

Sigo esperando el artículo sobre el tema que me prometiste.

HerrGay dijo...

Qué artículo? Algo sobre subnormales?

Obeso Putero dijo...

Joder, hay cuatro tordas que pagaría lo que fuera por follarlas, pero no hay manera... Isabel, Noelia, Beatriz y la cara gato.

jon maximus dijo...

Muy bueno herr peter. Sitios de referencia. Saludetes.

Casanova_Supreme dijo...

El diputeibol Chuwit es mi tio!!

bob dijo...

Interesante articulo aunque prefiero los locales de go gos.
Echale un vistazo a este artículo http://www.elmundo.es/internacional/2014/06/14/539c64be268e3e496c8b4571.html

Un saludo

bkgkake dijo...

Buenas Herr-Peter,

Nos puedes explicar la veradad sobre el caso de Yuyee y la condena por posesión de una casi invisible cocaina? Y no hables de que en Tailandia las leyes bla bla bla... Me ha sorprendido que no hablaras del tema en la web ya que nos interesa a todos. Esta condena no tiene ningún sentido y si yo lo sé sin tener ni puta idea de Tailandia, imagino que tu sabes mucho más.

Saludos,

Carlos

HerrPeter dijo...

Me informaré bien y escribiré algo.

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Putas todas las thais

Necesitó una vagina donde meter todo mi cargamento de polla...pongamos por ejemplo el coño de una buena PUTA

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